Darkness at the Door

Gentle knocking at the door

Slowly getting louder

I approach the door

Down the dark hall

Peering at the door

Not wanting to answer

I hear the handle rattle

I stop

The knocking becomes pounding

Screeches and growls grow from beyond

I start cover my ears

Screaming for the sounds to stop

Realizing the darkness is behind the door

It’s trying to burst through the door

The locks are blocking the entrance

The nothing growing with rage

I can feel the ire it gives off

I collapse under the ire of the nothing

Wanting the pounding to stop

The screeching and growls to grow quiet

Unable to know how

I curl in a fetus position

Blocking the sound out

Eventually the nothing settles

I remove my hands from my ears

Being able to breathe again

I look at the door

I wait

Wait for what is next

No Sleep

 Eyes are heavy

Voice is going

Exhaustion invades me

Sleep eludes me

Nowhere to turn

Darkness starts to consume me

As sleep escapes me

Dreams evade me 

With such panic 

Tightness in my chest

Nightmares creep in

Overtaking the night

I fight this battle 

With no way to win

No weapons to use

I try my best to survive

All I do is collapse

Clawing at whatever I have left 

Hoping

Praying

PTSD Attack

The sound of the water drops flowing down your skin

I drop down to my knees

Hands over my eyes

Tears blend with the water

Unable to catch my breath

Images of that evening flash in my head

Hearing the sounds of the rain fall

Sounds of the accident

My breathing becomes shallow

Harder to breathe

I stand

Hoping it will make it better

It just makes it worse

Needing to get out

Can’t stand the water hitting my skin

I force myself to turn off the water

As I crawl out of the shower

Still unable to breath

Crawling to the bed

I need to sit

I need to breath

Tears flow more

Not covered by the water

Sounds escape my lips

I try and muffle the tears

The hyperventilation

No one can hear me

5

4

3

2

1

I keep telling to myself

Keep counting down

Count the objects I see

My breath beings to slow

The tears slowly stop

I begin to dress

Pretend I’m ok