Triggered

 

All the pain came crashing in

Overwhelming emotions

Feelings

Rammed into me

I didn’t see it coming

No time to get out of the way

Before my chest began to hurt

The impact was hard

Full force

Something I hadn’t felt in awhile

I gripped my chest trying to breathe

Only to find myself yelling

Losing control

Trying to escape

I got in the shower

To fail 

Hyperventilating some more

Increasing pressure pushed against me

I could no longer feel breath fill my lungs

As memories flooded me

Crawling out of the shower

Grabbing a towel

I must dry off

Only to find 

there isn’t much air filling me

Trying to dry off

I stopped

Sobbing

Gripping the towel

Trying to hide from the pain

Instead feeling like it’s my fault

From saying no

Pushing them away

Trying to fight

To only freeze

Hearing in my head

It was all my fault

Even though years passed by

I know the truth

Trying desperately to breathe

Feeling tears stinging my face

My breath not coming

My chest so tight

I feel like I am collapsing under the weight

Somehow

I finally manage

To slow my breath 

Pain in my chest eases

Tears begin to slow

Feeling lost

In a world that felt safe

Confusion sets in

Trying to figure out why

Why did this happen

The attack came on so strong

Lasted forever

Wishing it never started

Trying to make sense

Only to know it never will 

No matter how hard I try