***trigger warning. Talks of suicide. Author is ok***
How do you tell someone
That you have a good-bye letter
One that is for them
Hidden deep on the web
For someone to find someday
Hopefully when you are gone
How do you tell someone
That you have had these thoughts
For far to long
That you needed to say I’m sorry
You could only say it in this letter
You are too ashamed to say it out loud
How do you tell someone
That they mean the world to you
Yet you are dying inside
You are losing this battle
That feels like suicide
Suicide of the mind
Body
Soul
How do you tell someone
That these ideations
Are taking over every minute
Every second
It only gets stronger
You are worried if today is the last
You are not figuring out when is the best time
Knowing you will be alone for hours
No one will know
Know when you commit the act
When they do, it will be too late
Honestly, do I really want to be found
How do I tell someone
That if I die I know others will follow
That is more weight that is on my shoulders
I will be responsible for
Ones I don’t want to bare
For those people I mean something
They are alive because I am
How do I tell someone
I am tired of living
Tired of this pain
Feeling I am never enough
I am not worth anything
Always needing to be better
I hear the tone of do better
You are failing
Failing is all I am good at
Here I am wanting to die
I am thinking I failed you
I let you down
I am this burden
I hurt you and made you sad
The more I am alive the more I cause pain
All I ever do is cause pain
I wake up and I hurt someone
My words or tone hurt
My actions tend to speak louder
Those sting like a swarm of bees
Nothing to stop it
How do I tell someone
I am slowly dying inside
I want to cry
Feel nothing
Because I am giving up
I have no more fight left
How do I tell someone
That I love them
I want what is best
If I am not here
Then I can’t burden them anymore
How do I tell someone
They mean the world to me
They always have
My love for them
Never wavered
Only the thoughts of myself
How do I tell them
My love is pure
Like the first snowfall of the season
Or an innocent child
I am trying to tell someone
I feel alone
Yet I am surrounded by people
Yet, when I am with you
My mind calms down
For just a brief moment
I can breathe
I know someone is fighting for me
Because I can’t fight no more
