Written 1/21/23
*author is and was ok*
My mind is getting to me
The voices in my head
Trying to get me to cave
Makes me fight them more
Today they are strong
The feeling of being unwanted
Swims over me like a tidal wave
The fear of rejection
Continuing to be open
Being open opens my demons
They want to play
See the blood
Feel the pain
The runs deep inside
All I hear is the same words
No one will want me
Yet, all around me it rings true
No one will love me
The way I want to be love
Second best is my place
The ugly mistress
I have a role
Never good enough
That’s the role I play
No one is proud
Who matters
No one acts like they care
If I’m gone
Who will shed a tear
The one who I can’t have
The one my heart belongs too
At times I hear
Tells me what I want to hear
He doesn’t like me
He doesn’t want me
I’m being used and played
I will always be played
Like a fiddle
When I break
I’m replaced
I’m too much
I’m too everything
Too little
Too clingy
Too broken
Demons inside are screaming
Seeing blood
To stop this pain
Maybe
Just maybe
I may not survive
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