I didn’t realize what mental illness was
As I walked down the halls
I pretended everything was ok
Acted like nothing was wrong
As I held my arms facing down
With marks on my wrists
I tried to hide what was being felt
Years went on
The pain continued
It just got worse
Fighting these demons
Ones that were starting to show
The ones that stood there laughing
I continued to feel pain
Trying to numb the world around me
I only knew one thing
No one seemed to notice
Walking down longer halls
More students surrounding me
Fake laughter filling my lungs
I tried to reach for help
I was told my world didn’t matter
What light I had left was fading
Quickly
I tried again to hold my hand out
Begged for help
Yet again I got my hand pushed away
Told I was making it up
With dark marks showing up
More marks on my arms
No one seemed to care
I begged and begged for someone
Just to listen to me
No one was there
The lights finally faded
I gave up
I continued to go numb with the pain
Trying to figure out how to survive
The darkness got worse
I learned to cage it
The pain grew numb
I didn’t care
Why should I really
No one cared about me
I believed no one would love me
I jumped at the first person to say the words
Believed that was love
To find out that was not
Marks faded
Scars formed
I stopped begging
Barely survived
So many years
I felt that numbness
That haunted me
More scars formed
Words said before
Were stung so deep
Like a knife shoved in me
Darkness escaped those cages
As the numbness shined again
Fighting a world
Feeling all alone
Surviving
Barely
Nowhere to turn
Cages get locked
Pain subsides
Learning to control
Darkness tries to fade
Never for long
It’s always there
Now it’s a wild beast
Roaming a forest
Waiting
Wanting to attack
Next time
May not keep survivors
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