Written: 1/24/2025
Why do you love me?
I overthink
I try and trust you
I am hard on myself
Call myself names
I am not good enough
Not even for you
I look at myself
I want to trust
The memories flood me
Of those before you
Those who flirted and talked to girls
Made me feel not special
Showed me they didn’t care
All I want to do is trust you
Like I have for years before
Why do you love me
When you see my trust wants to wavier
My words can be hurtful
My fists hit your chest
Screaming at you internally
Because I don’t know what else to do
I try to breathe
When you look at me
For me to ask you again
Why do you love me
Why do you love me
When my brain races
I can’t make it stop
It tells me that I am ugly
I look like a guy
How do you see me beautiful
I don’t see what you do
Why do you love me
When I look down and I see a plus size body
One I am disgusted at
I know there was too much food
I lost the battle that I should have won
I see the stretch marks that form around me
As if I lived this long life
It shows how much food I just ate
Why do you love me
When you see scars on my arms
The deep ones in my leg
How about my arms that are too faint to see
The hair that covers my chest
That shouldn’t be there
The baldness on top of my head
So many faults on my skin
A battleground that stares you in the face
One I have kept losing over
Why do you love me
When I tell you I am not good enough
I have failed you
I don’t matter
The depression floods my head once more
I don’t understand why
Why they are still here
More why your heart cries out to mine
Why do you still love me
I wish I knew
You probably have said
My brain and heart doesn’t hear it
Needing to keep reminding me
TIL the softness of your words seep in
Stay with me
Until I believe it
