Author is ok. Talks of self-harm. Please remember that the author writes as a tool for self care and to deal with inner demons. So there is no self-harm happening. Please remember that the author is ok and is always using their support system to deal with these issues.
The lights go off
I settle in for the night
Trying to calm my mind
A dark voice whispers my name
A voice I hadn’t heard in a long time
The voice I heard when I was little
Again around 2016
I can almost see this voice as my name is being called
A dark creature of the night
Skin pure black almost burnt in color
Eyes dark as coal
No soul to be found
The voice dark, low, raspy
Feels like flames want to escape their mouth
It’s just a creature of the night
Maybe they are human
Maybe a demon from hell
When I don’t respond to my name
That’s when things go darker for me
Words I don’t want to hear
That haunt me during the day
The voice creeps into my head
As the sunlight radiates my skin
“I want to see blood” the creature says
Over and over and over
For it craves the smell of iron
The gratifying sense that someone gave in
Enjoying the blood sliding down the arm
Drips fall to the ground
As if it’s feeding the underworld
Thriving off each drop
This creature does everything they can
To encourage me
Begs me to cave and reach for the knife
Always staying hidden just enough
Where it’s just a voice
Never an object
Times I swear I see them
Standing over me
Whispering into my ears
Over my body
Wanting me to cross over to them
Unlike when I was little
There is only one and not four
Taunting me
Calling for me
Looking the same
Saying how much they want me to die
The only voice I hear
When it is too dark in my head
Calling from the shadows and corners of my room
He lives there this creature
Only in my room
That’s where he is the loudest
Yet always a whisper
Telling me to bleed
Saying it’s okay to die
He wants to watch me
Cut like I am a piece of paper after sharpening a knife
Watch as I do it
As if I have hidden away
Watch the blood creep up on my skin
The blood sliding off my wrist
There watchful eyes gleaming
I fight this voice
The more I try and ignore this voice
The voice grows louder
Begging and pleading with me
Wanting to see blood
Asking for my death
You see this voice never goes away
Not truly
They stay hidden
Until that dark storm creeps in again
I hear them calling my name
Asking me to bleed
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