It comes back home
This black raging wind
Coming out of nowhere
No warning
Just consuming
Swallowing me whole
Spewing seeds at me like never before
Reminding me how I can’t do anything
How I failed at everything I touched
Ever being able to complete challenge
That I worked so hard for
The seeds come in representing people
Telling me how you can walk this?
We failed before?
Telling me I can’t do my job.
Just because someone didn’t listen
To what I had to say.
Once again stress enters my home
A fire being lit and spreading like wildfire
Nowhere to go and hide
Except the one place where the darkness finds me most
I stand there with a fire surrounding me
A black wind fueling it
The combination excites each other
Storm is created deep inside
Whispers of I’m not good enough.
I’ll never make it.
I can’t do it.
No matter how good you are at a job
You will always fail at it.
No one wants you.
No matter how hard I tried to follow the rules
I am thrown away once again
Being told I can’t do something.
With the fury of the fire telling me I never will
Screams flooding my veins
Reminding me I am too much for everyone
They would be better without me
Thoughts of self-harm come flooding back in
Little will to fight
I know I am too much
I always am
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