TW: Battle Deep Inside

 The knot in your stomach begins to form 

As I try I try not to feel it

The lump in the throat begins to swell 

As I try not to throw up 

My mind racing 

As fast as tornado sweeps through

A hurricane has its top speed

There is no slowing it 

I stare off to space

Trying to focus

Only to see something shiny

My demons squeal with pleasure 

My hand reaches for it

Picks it up

Looks at the beauty 

The person deep inside

Screaming 

Telling me to put it down

I keep toying with it

Saying only one cut

It won’t hurt a bit

I finally put it down

Walk away

Fighting the urge 

Swirling words

Telling me how much longer

Can I outlast

Is it worth it anymore

For no one seems to care

Then I see the blue eyes

Reminds me I can’t

I continue to fight

Each day I feel like I’m losing 

Losing a battle no one knows I’m fighting

Most don’t care

The demons playing 

Partying

Having fun

Causing chaos in my head

No way to stop the sounds

The squealing

Laughter

Taunting

Beginning me

The tornado of words continue to swirl

Clouds dark

Pour raining

Nothing left

Just a battle to fight

No one to fight with