Shower

 I stand under you as the water runs down

My hand against the wall
My head hung low
My eyes closed and everything blends
I can’t tell if it’s you or my own tears
I slowly open my eyes and they begin to burn
My shoulders shake close my eyes again
What a mix of the two

The steam rises and fills the room
No one can hear me as I begin to sob
The day washes away with every tear
I begin to slide down for I can no longer stand
I sit there under the running water
Holding my knees and cry 
Wondering what am I going to do

How much more pain do I have to endure
How many more tears need to run down
Haven’t you taken enough
I raise my head with my eyes closed tight
Feeling the water change from hot to cold
How long have I been here
It doesn’t matter not anymore


I allow the water run down my face
Down every inch of me
hoping, praying that maybe I can heal
Then another attack
Another rip of the hart
More tears mixed with water


I stand up to finish what I started
For I can’t be here forever
I have to come out
Hold my head high and raise my shoulders
Once again I have to be the strong one

Written: April 13, 2017