Pull

 I want to pull away

Save myself from pain

Hurt

Everything that I have felt before

The heartache 

Being broken into a million pieces

If I hurt you

Then I won’t get hurt

Right

That’s how it works

I hurt you

Before you hurt me

Now I am in this knee jerk reaction

Not knowing what to do

Do I push

Do I pull

Which is it

How do I breathe

I don’t know anymore

What I want seems to be leaving my grip

Slipping from my hands the more I push

Yet I’m the one pulling away

Somehow I am still wanting to hold on

Years of trust built

Not wanting to break

Yet, I want to destroy it

Tell them to go

Leave

Go away

I don’t need you anymore

That would be a lie

I need them

I want them

Everything about them

I need to pull in this tug a war of emotions

Pull in a direction that will keep me safe

Will it keep me safe

Will it just cause me harm

I don’t know

I just don’t know.